Monday, September 7, 2009

A Mom's Thoughts on Letting Go ~ Monday Musings

I'll admit I am writing this post two weeks before my youngest son leaves for college. I know I will need quiet time for a few days after " the drop off" day of September 5th. Of course as a SAHM (stay at home mom) for the last 20+ years I have mixed feelings and emotions. I am so excited for Evan and the experiences that will come with going away to college. He is a very talented and responsible young man and I am so proud of his smart choices in life thus far. But selfishly admit I am quite happy that he is in Boston, only an hour and half away. I truly enjoy his company and this means when he wants to have a visit, shopping adventure or just a luncheon chat, I can easily drive down for the day.

So with that said, I thought I would share a short post on thoughts of an "empty nester" learning to let go. I know there are many others out there facing the same feelings this month. Please feel free to share your perspective under the comments section. I found the original post of this "poem" entitled "Letting go takes Love" on the Internet (by 'author unknown') but have changed it to reflect my own thoughts, feelings and perspective.

A Mom's Thoughts on Letting Go

To let go does not mean to stop caring,

it is because you care that you let go.
To let go is not to cut ourselves off from our children,
but the realization that to grow they must be set free.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow them to be an individual human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow them to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to listen intently, allowing them to process life.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from personal choices and natural consequences.
To let go is not to be protective,
but to permit them to face the realities of life, while standing close by.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to encourage one to spread their wings of self discovery
and for me to continue on my own path of the same.

I love you Evan and will always be here for you!

love, Mom


Mersad said...

Touching post. My mom had a hard time when i moved away too. Now it's 3 years later and she has gotten used to it. I visit her often and we are always in contact.

Natalie said...

Thank you Denise. xx♥

circleinthesand said...

Denise - you have me in tears!! Hubby and I have 5 kids total, all married but one, lots of grandkids, even some great-grandbabies now, and I still want to put them all in a safe bubble and keep them there...... that is a beautiful verse about letting go and soooooo true.

Good luck to you as you adjust to your 'alone' time.... I'm sure you will learn to love it!!!

Judy said...

Our one and only started his first year of college 3 weeks ago. He was so ready to go and we were so excited for him to start experiencing a new life, although it is so hard to let go of the old one. I know our life will never be the same again...he has a new chapter and so do we.

Tins and Treasures said...

I love this post. I, too, have posted about my empty nest...
It is so hard to describe, how one can be so happy and so sad, all at the same time! I'm glad you are close enough for an occasional lunch date. Our youngest is 3 hours away...oldest is 7 hours away. We can still go visit our youngest for shopping, football game and dinner all in a day's trip. Happy Labor Day ~Natalie

~JarieLyn~ said...

This is a wonderful post. I don't have kids so I will never have the experience of empty nest.

Pauline said...

Lovely post, Denise. Those letting go feelings are hard to put into words. My youngest son has lived overseas most of his adult life, I've always rejoiced for him knowing how much he was appreciating this great big wonderful world of ours. But since he was last home in June I constantly want him to come back home. No understanding a mother's love I guess. I'm glad your boy is not too far away!

Cottage In The Sun said...

I'm still adjusting to sending my "baby" to kinder - can't even imagine college! Lovely post. :)

Anonymous said...

beautiful post Denise...that poem is SO true, and you have to do it with your heart feeling like it's been yanked out of your body. I am getting ready to move #2 out (an hour away) and its blech! All very bittersweet.
your little guy's photo at the bottom of the post about did me in...so cute, why do they have to grow up?

TheNikiProject said...

Ahhh, love is beautiful, but it does hurt sometimes. Lovely post. I don't even have kids yet and it still puled on the heart strings.